PMB is going to kill me...
Jan. 18th, 2003 10:43 pm...when she finds out that I couldn't go to the club this week because I spent my entertainment budget on the Monster Truck Jam last night at the Tacoma Dome. This was my third MTJ. The first one was at the late, lamented Kingdome. The main reason we went was to see an amazing destructive creation called Truckasaurus. This was a 40-foot mechanical dinosaur that lumbered out into the center of the dome and picked up cars and crunched them up in its claws and jaws and then set them on fire. This was all immensely cool until the car upholstery caught fire, sending clouds of toxic smoke throughout the dome and sending us all galloping for the exits.
The next show we saw was also at the Tacoma Dome. It was fun, although Truckasaurus-less. But it did have what is called Pro Stadium Truck racing. Unlike monster trucks, PSTs are smaller, lighter, stock-looking 4WD (with the rare 2WD) rigs and the occasional Willy. They race over a dirt track with moguls and ramp jumps. Sometimes they miss and slam nose-first into the opposite berm. Sometimes they roll. In a way, I find them almost more fun than the monster trucks, because it seems like they're within the reach of ordinary mortals. I can almost see us taking the canopy off of S's truck and slinging it around the track a few times. Okay, maybe not.
Last night we went because Robosaurus was going to be there. Now, I can't tell if Robosaurus is the same as the old Truckasaurus or not. S says not, but I can't imagine there being two of these things in the world! We waited kind of late to buy our tickets, so we were waaaay at one end of the stadium. This meant that when Robosaurus picked up a car, broke it in half, and set it on fire, we were sitting on the wrong side of the stadium and could only see the thing's back. I have to admit that I'm still kind of disappointed, but you can't really know until you get there, right? Did I mention that Robosaurus (and Truckasaurus too, for that matter) breathes 20-foot flames from its nostrils?
On to the racing. S said we had to go to the show's first night because by the second show it was entirely possible that some monster trucks would be entirely hors d' combat. These machines cost hundreds of thousands of dollars, and they make them as sturdy as they can, but it's just not enough. First race: One truck busts something and has to be hauled off. Second race: One truck busts something and has to be hauled off. Third race: Both trucks finish the course and the crowd collectively dies of surprise. Fourth race: One truck busts something and has to be hauled off. Are you starting to see the picture here?
Pro Stadium Truck racing was great last night. Tom Jones easily took the event in his little white truck. He was a joy to watch. The little truck flowed and flickered over the course like, like an ermine, really.
One of the main reasons for going to MTJs is to watch the final freestyle competition. Each truck comes out and has 60 seconds to do whatever tricks, stunts, jumps, wheelies, etc., that the driver wants to do. Grave Digger (surely you have heard of Grave Digger, people) broke its rear end in the final race and couldn't do the freestyle. But Captain America (who had front end trouble all night, and whose crew worked feverishly to fix it in time) thrilled the crowd with wheelies and earned a perfect 30. This didn't leave any room for the other competitors, so when Bounty Hunter and Blue Thunder turned in equally great performances, they had to receive a 30 as well, so there was a three-way win. Blue Thunder had been plagued with trouble all night, and I think the driver just said "Fuck it" and held nothing back. He performed for twice as long as he was supposed to and his truck ended up on its side at the end. Of course, we all loved it.
I love MTJs. They're loud, they're flashy, they're smelly, they're laden with testosterone. And they're the closest I'm going to get to destructive performance art like SRL, who haven't been to Seattle since the 1990 show that I was fortunate enough to attend.
Today S is off at a friend's LAN party. He's been gone since 9 a.m. and I don't expect him home before I crawl back into bed. It's been a very unproductive day (I'm still in my jammies). Got up at noon, had some breakfast and read; then, exhausted from my efforts, I took a nap from 1 p.m. to 5 p.m. K would be proud of me.
Having bored everyone senseless with stories of the MTJ, I'm off to bed. Again.
The next show we saw was also at the Tacoma Dome. It was fun, although Truckasaurus-less. But it did have what is called Pro Stadium Truck racing. Unlike monster trucks, PSTs are smaller, lighter, stock-looking 4WD (with the rare 2WD) rigs and the occasional Willy. They race over a dirt track with moguls and ramp jumps. Sometimes they miss and slam nose-first into the opposite berm. Sometimes they roll. In a way, I find them almost more fun than the monster trucks, because it seems like they're within the reach of ordinary mortals. I can almost see us taking the canopy off of S's truck and slinging it around the track a few times. Okay, maybe not.
Last night we went because Robosaurus was going to be there. Now, I can't tell if Robosaurus is the same as the old Truckasaurus or not. S says not, but I can't imagine there being two of these things in the world! We waited kind of late to buy our tickets, so we were waaaay at one end of the stadium. This meant that when Robosaurus picked up a car, broke it in half, and set it on fire, we were sitting on the wrong side of the stadium and could only see the thing's back. I have to admit that I'm still kind of disappointed, but you can't really know until you get there, right? Did I mention that Robosaurus (and Truckasaurus too, for that matter) breathes 20-foot flames from its nostrils?
On to the racing. S said we had to go to the show's first night because by the second show it was entirely possible that some monster trucks would be entirely hors d' combat. These machines cost hundreds of thousands of dollars, and they make them as sturdy as they can, but it's just not enough. First race: One truck busts something and has to be hauled off. Second race: One truck busts something and has to be hauled off. Third race: Both trucks finish the course and the crowd collectively dies of surprise. Fourth race: One truck busts something and has to be hauled off. Are you starting to see the picture here?
Pro Stadium Truck racing was great last night. Tom Jones easily took the event in his little white truck. He was a joy to watch. The little truck flowed and flickered over the course like, like an ermine, really.
One of the main reasons for going to MTJs is to watch the final freestyle competition. Each truck comes out and has 60 seconds to do whatever tricks, stunts, jumps, wheelies, etc., that the driver wants to do. Grave Digger (surely you have heard of Grave Digger, people) broke its rear end in the final race and couldn't do the freestyle. But Captain America (who had front end trouble all night, and whose crew worked feverishly to fix it in time) thrilled the crowd with wheelies and earned a perfect 30. This didn't leave any room for the other competitors, so when Bounty Hunter and Blue Thunder turned in equally great performances, they had to receive a 30 as well, so there was a three-way win. Blue Thunder had been plagued with trouble all night, and I think the driver just said "Fuck it" and held nothing back. He performed for twice as long as he was supposed to and his truck ended up on its side at the end. Of course, we all loved it.
I love MTJs. They're loud, they're flashy, they're smelly, they're laden with testosterone. And they're the closest I'm going to get to destructive performance art like SRL, who haven't been to Seattle since the 1990 show that I was fortunate enough to attend.
Today S is off at a friend's LAN party. He's been gone since 9 a.m. and I don't expect him home before I crawl back into bed. It's been a very unproductive day (I'm still in my jammies). Got up at noon, had some breakfast and read; then, exhausted from my efforts, I took a nap from 1 p.m. to 5 p.m. K would be proud of me.
Having bored everyone senseless with stories of the MTJ, I'm off to bed. Again.
cooool -- fire-breathing dino-trucks!
Date: 2003-01-19 04:03 pm (UTC)Which reminds me: took the car through a mechanical car-wash today, because they SALT the frickin' roads around here during snowstorms. When the wheel-cleaning thingies wham against your wheels and the maw is gobbling down from above, these little thought go through your mind, like, "What if a chain breaks somewhere and this entire mechanical dino crushes in upon me?" There's no escape. I wonder if anyone's done research on how many people have died in mechanical car-washes?
Joyous thoughts,
Chris
Re: cooool -- fire-breathing dino-trucks!
Date: 2003-01-19 11:48 pm (UTC)S says the only reason we didn't invite you to the first MTJ with Truckasaurus is that we didn't know you well enough back then. You can't invite just anybody to one of those things, ya know. But surely you can find a MTJ show somewhere around your neck of the woods, she said with only the barest hint of sarcasm. ;-)
Re: cooool -- fire-breathing dino-trucks!
Date: 2003-01-20 02:18 pm (UTC)Just had a hilarious image: James Gunn (portait of the perfect 80-year-old Midwestern gentleman) leaned forward on stadium bench seating, shouting, "Eat that fukkin' Honda, Truckasaurus, EAT IT! OH, YEAH!"
Heh.
Chris
Yeh...
Date: 2003-01-19 04:47 pm (UTC)You freak.
Now let's go team up and mess around in Kij's LJ! Yay!
Peev
Fire-brathing trucks?!
Date: 2003-01-19 07:33 pm (UTC)In fact, I'd almost be willing to attend a MTJ with you. Almost. Except for the fact that I'm pretty sure the rest of the audience would throw things at me, or try and feed me to Truckasaurus.
You WILL be at Grind this coming week though, right? Right?
Re: Fire-brEathing trucks?!
Date: 2003-01-19 08:19 pm (UTC)Okay, now I'm really freaked out.
Peev
Re: Fire-brEathing trucks?!
Date: 2003-01-20 02:21 pm (UTC);-)
Of course, you know PMB needs a welder, right? A nice MIG shouldn't be any trouble.
Best,
Chris
Re: Fire-brathing trucks?!
Date: 2003-01-19 11:53 pm (UTC)I guess we had better go to the club this week, then. You saw that Alex can't go this week either, right? I'm bummed.
Re: Fire-brathing trucks?!
Date: 2003-01-21 02:14 am (UTC)*I* am bummed.
This week is going to suck.
See the time? This is what happens when you work late.
*sigh*
And it's an exactly-12-hour-week this week. That means a not-quite-$80 paycheck next week.
Rather like Legolas "still the prettiest"
"still can't afford rent"
AND I have to miss GRIND.
AND I can't hang out with Alfredo beforehand, or go back to his place afterwards and sleep better than I sleep in my own bed, alone.
Wow. This turned into a mega-whine.
Must stomp on the Proles some more. I'm about to act on this issue:
The Issue
As crime rates rise, some in the community are calling for increased policing.
The Debate
"Just the other day, I got mugged in the broad daylight!" says ruffian Dave McGuffin. "And the ironic thing is I had just stuck up this other guy. When muggers are getting mugged, even I have to admit that crime has gotten out of control. We do need more police."
"The solution to crime is not more police!" says noted sociologist and occasional crime novelist Faith Hanover. "Studies repeatedly show that crime is caused by poverty and poor education. Increase government spending in these areas, and crime will fall! Maybe not overnight, but it will happen."
"Yeah, good luck with that," says conservative leader and gun enthusiast Peggy Thiesen. "Look, we do need more police, that's clear. But that's not enough. We need real punishments: sentences that will act as a genuine deterrent to people considering a life of crime. Like public floggings."
This is the position your government is preparing to adopt.
Yeah. I feel better. Now I can go to sleep.