weaselmom | Brought to you by Ford Focus and Coca-Cola.

Monday night S and I actually made it to the gym. It's been some five weeks or so for me and I have a lot of ground to recover. I pushed it pretty hard and now I have these useless T. Rex arms dangling in front of me. Hurts to type.

But enough of my pain! Let's move on to the spectacle that was tonight's episode of "American Idol."

It's going to be a long two months if we are subjected to the same Focus and Coke commercials over and over and over.

For a longer show like tonight, that means an extra 30 minutes of the two "hosts," Dumb and Dumber. They are a couple of unprofessional, mediocre nobodies, and I hope Simon gets a chance to really lay into them on the air.

Supposedly each show will have a theme. Tonight was Motown. Nothing funnier than watching young white boys trying for that Motown sound. Since when is "Ma Cherie Amour" Motown? How ya bettin' we won't get a Goth night or an Industrial night or a Death Metal night?

Based on tonight's performances, if Tamyra doesn't win, then the show is a travesty.

Ejay has yet to actually just sing a bloody song. His vocalizing is nothing but fluff and trills. He has no rhythm. He makes no attempt to actually carry a recognizable tune. How can the judges judge his singing ability when he has never really sung?

We now have five solid female contenders. Hooray for every single one of them!

This is in stark contrast to the male contestants. Justin still has the fruity hair, and there's something about his smug, smarmy, cheesy, self-aware delivery that just makes me want to kick him in the slats. Jim is so out of there. He has been dreadful all along. Ejay may make it another round, but I hope he's out of there soon. I don't think AJ has any real talent, but bless him for wowing the 12-year-olds all across America. I am very fond of RJ, mainly because of his spectacular tooth enamel, and would like to see him hang around for a few shows so I can bask in the glare of all those teeth.

The judging methodology is meaningless. You can vote as many times as you want to for however many contestants you want. This means that the aforementioned 12-year-olds spend two hours a night demon-dialing their votes for mediocre performers such as Jim and AJ.

It has been hinted at in our household that I'm taking this show too seriously. Ha, I snort derisively. I spent only an hour and a half on the AI message boards tonight, and I can quit anytime I want to!